Five Days in Shoreditch Alone, Before the Planned Break-Up
(Advance Guide)
Day 1.
On day one you will exit from Liverpool Street station by a
Door you do not know.
It is on Sun Street Passage.
Do not read into this.
Two things will happen.
Firstly you will try to walk the places you loved
When you were loved.
You will pass the Mondrian, where you remember that last night
As a couple, with Ryan and Clara
And a late-night goodbye,
Smiles and waves and undertakings
Until the next time
That now won’t be. You will fall
And re-awaken on the
Corner of Curtain Road.
Secondly, later that day, on your next try,
You will come upon
New Inn Yard and
Dysart Street,
Known to you already but these are places in your father’s
Land and your grief for his death six months ago will understandably Collide with the loss of love, and you will fall again.
Do not be discouraged. This is not normal,
But it is typical.
Day 2.
In the morning you will feel like you cannot go on.
You will search Ryanair return flights and be annoyed that they are
Fifteen euro as you were hoping they’d be too expensive and take the
Decision away from you.
At 1.20pm you will be unable to see a future.
The future however is purely a construct.
You will walk in the rain and find a
Vegan cafe that ordinarily would annoy you but today it feels like a
Hug. You will write.
Day 3.
Day three will start at midnight, as standard.
By 5am a bearded overlord from Azerbaijan will tell you,
As he strokes your cheek,
That you are beautiful, and how could anyone give you up.
You feel that he means it and you will say thank you.
You will wake up stronger, at 11am, but caution:
The feeling is fragile.
Also on day three, a man with a cat on his shoulder will
Walk into the Common Space Bookshop and Cafe.
This doesn’t necessarily mean anything
Except that a man has a cat on his shoulder.
At 7pm you will enter the studio of Hormazd Narielwalla on Old Street.
He will show you his work, and please, be prepared:
It is art
Story
Execution and
Intent.
It is beauty and meaning you are not prepared for.
You will be moved and you will cry
For all that you’ve denied yourself
In the pursuit of another’s happiness.
But Happiness Forgets,
And you will take him there.
Day 4.
On Rivington Street you will see a postcard of Bette Davis and
Paul Henreid in the window of a vintage shop -
The one where she doesn’t ask for the moon
Because she has some stars.
You will reflect that God showed no such timidity,
And on the fourth day, perhaps a day like today,
He created the entire cosmos.
You will feel a clarity in recognising the delusions of classic romance,
And you will be keen to understand how a universe
Can be built in a day.
Take note of your feeling of interest. It is indicative of an approaching corner.
At 12.34pm you will receive a message.
He is ready to talk.
You will not be, or rather you will not be ready for
The End.
You will still not have prepared, at this point, your classic last line.
You will decline the invitation to bring forward your
Expiration, despite that more time in the pain of the unknown
Is a cruelty you are delivering only onto
Yourself – and you will know that you are trading,
Choosing one form of torment against another.
Please be warned: no-one can save those who negotiate with fate.
Day 5.
On the morning of day five you will depart for the execution,
As planned.
And while the axe will sever all sense
All hope
All joy
All tomorrow,
In the comforting low greys of East London
You are less afraid.
Somewhere between Leyton and Leytonstone
You will feel what feels like a beginning, within.
Do accept this feeling, if at all possible.
Why, if
Lust
Jealousy
Envy
Anger
So easily thrive in you,
Should not this also?
It is, after all,
The first green shoot of love returning, at which you are
Excellent.
You will then emerge from underground,
And go to your reckoning.
Good luck.
Remember, he will not choose you,
But you will choose yourself.
